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    Open words

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    Admin
    Admin

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    Join date : 2017-10-25

    Re: Open words

    Post by Admin on Wed Nov 22, 2017 1:19 am

    What I am listening to today, so far favorite one is moow-rain it is sooooo good ^.^




    beep beep lettuce <3


    cherry cherry <8<3 cherry cherry I love you

    Admin
    Admin

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    Re: Open words

    Post by Admin on Mon Nov 20, 2017 6:13 am

    Having spiritual experiences are very fun with me. Ever since I can remember, I have always been able to see through the veil or line between here and there- very scary at 3 years old, let me tell you. Since then, the imagery is not as strong, but that happens over time for a lot of people. The moment you stop doing it and get away from it for some people it goes away over time. For some people, it never stops- I imagine this is how it is for you, unfortunately. The dreams I have, I guess depending from your standpoint are the past, for me they are the future- some of them are very strong- my senses cannot tell that I am not there- they feel real, which makes for a fun time waking up- or sometimes drinking coffee and seeing it- makes messes haha. I have always been able to do other things but out of fear, because I grew up into a pentecostal/amish type setting; I stopped practicing because I could not control these things and literally seriously injured my sister and consequently resurrected her, needless to say, I stopped immediately. I'd like to think that everyone that can see/do/feel these type of things are special for a reason. We both know why. It makes me chuckle all the same. It was weird though, all though we  all grew up in a strange community, we all never disbelieved the things I could see. The things I see- I unfortunately cannot control when I see them- it just happens. Demons and demon things have followed me around for the longest time. I have personally seen a rake demon dog-very scary, then it became my pet- hell is a serious prison and its inhabitants fun to talk to. I just was unprepared for it , unpracticed, and got subjected early- many, many near death experiences and of course dying and coming back to life on march 16, 2016- scary shit, haha. I don't support either side really, of course we  both know where we come from, I know this, every side has their reasons, but for me, I am looking to carve my own path and finding out where that takes me- makes me very hopeful for the future.
    Having recovered those memories today- it gives me more piece of mind, that I am exactly where I need to be, there is no doubt- I know better than to look back- I guess what I am trying to say- is this gives me peace of mind about the newly transformed me. The last couple of years have been really crazy but I am happy because of who I am now. I needed pain to bring me where I am now. I don't doubt, I don't question, I am sure of who I am, where I need to be. So, after a long period of young adulthood and the questions and the unsure self quest- its nice to finally arrived.
    I haven't recovered all of the memories but I have no doubt that the few I have gotten, were what was needed for right now.
    At any rate, there were a few more things I had on my mind.
    I really wanted to say that although we cannot communicate normally, I still wanted to convey my feelings all the same. I love you very much and sometimes I cannot find enough words to say how much you mean to me- just know that I care alot about you; how your day was, if you are happy, if you are not- what I can do to make it better, if you had slept well, if you had good dreams or at least a peaceful sleep, and hoping you know how much I want to make things better for you, even if you are busy, just letting you know that you have someone that loves you and cares for you immensely.
    I'm not sure why things are set up the way they are with communication and forbidden physical contact right now, but I guess it's that way for a reason, I'll just pout until then, haha..
    I'm still trying to wake up. I'll be posting a video shortly, I am wearing my glasses today because my vision is super blurry from that weird dream about my memories-sometimes this crazy shit affects my other senses. So please forgive me if I am bouncing off the walls about being excited talking to you or if I am struggling to be awake from lack of caffeine-my day revolves around coffee- just know that I love you.
    Talk to you soon :3














    Admin
    Admin

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    Re: Open words

    Post by Admin on Sat Nov 18, 2017 1:54 am

    Observing.
    Watching.
    Waiting.
    Their plans always fail.
    Family always got my back.
    Desensitized, time to decompress.
    Taking it all in, this is who I am, and she'll always be one step ahead.









    Admin
    Admin

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    Re: Open words

    Post by Admin on Tue Nov 14, 2017 2:57 am

    In my head, raindrops falling. Reflecting on days past. Watching the water flow to and fro. Eyes closed, the scent of welcoming home. The feeling of ease, muscles relaxed, and stillness for the moments to pass by. How I wish for this peace, this love, remain eternal, for my heart has been washed away before. I want to feel the raindrops on my skin, feel the joy, and hold it close.












    Admin
    Admin

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    Re: Open words

    Post by Admin on Mon Nov 13, 2017 5:04 am

    Started off with today being much better than the last. I like to start off waking up, thinking of you, then listening to beats or full instrumentals (songs) the rest of the day, it helps with the writing, to really get out what I want to say. I've been creating since I was child, much like you. I was more into arts, back then- still having the ambition to paint and draw what I saw into my mind, into my heart, onto the paper. I even was an artist full time until music really took over my life and I threw myself into it, going through alot at the time as a teenager and then a young adult. Life's woes and misery makes beautiful music. Over time, music as a whole grew into what I really loved about life. It became my breathing. I did music for a long time until I settled on a career, and now with changing situations, I can honestly say it feels good to go back to it again. Really putting my emotion not necessarily words behind a song, a track, a playlist; is where I try to focus and vocalize- more into the moment, sometimes with conveying this feeling and other times poetically describing my heart fall through the floor. I've explored quite a few creative outlets, I always gravitate back to music, it's very revealing, in the small things to the way a sax can express my melancholy or happiness for the day, to the way a guitar can express what I feel at night. I also like it because there is a song for every mood. Everyday, it is always there to wrap itself around my mind and into my background, it's everything and nothing at all; it is love, it is hate, it is sadness, it is heart ache, it is happiness, it is joy, and so much more. I hope that by writing this, you can see more into my mind, as well as the same. Without music, I don't know where I would be. It is my thoughts, my ambitions, for anyone listening or reading, that they may have their worries lifted for a moment and simply experience contentment.










    A classic song that I like





    A song recently discovered that I like



    Admin
    Admin

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    Re: Open words

    Post by Admin on Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:15 am

    Odd feeling waking up today, flowing with routine. These days I find myself enjoying the silence, and taking it all in. No feeling just continuous motion. Not bad for a change in pace. I've gotten past the fear of expectation for the future, and really just trying to stay in the frame of mind of staying in the moment , expecting the worst while preparing for the best, a definite change from previous routines. I like it. Allows you to disregard everything else, and focus on the background, and the sun setting in the distance. Without words, everything falls to the side, allows the wind to caress your face so you can exhale. Damn, this new luminous path is the way to go. Twists and turns, but never ceasing to make me smile with anticipation. I may not know where it ends, but I live to ride on.
    Blue tides carry me away, carry me away to this dream. No feeling, happy endearments.
    Songs I was thinking about today.









    Admin
    Admin

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    Re: Open words

    Post by Admin on Sat Nov 11, 2017 6:37 am

    I don't why, I feel like shit... Just kidding. The way that songs are very catchy then humming the tune all day.. fuck.
    When your dreams are eating talking cookies alive, bawhahahaha...
    Days are better, when you don't see the demons for a little while. Always on the hunt for better music, continuously expanding my music library is a fun challenge. I actually enjoy spending most time behind my computer, it allows me to feel like myself unfiltered, even if that's different than most people, 'cause fuck them, I'll be having the last laugh, haha. Between my seizures and long periods of sleep, being nocturnal is something I was born to, darkness is home. Feeling like your brain is wired than most people's, is neat to think about. I always like to think about stranger things like drops in a ocean. The color blue, calm and collected, is more of my mood today. Always being drawn to it, it brings me back to where I need to be. These moments of clarity, are always a welcoming medium.  
    You'll never have a dull moment within my mind, haha.
    To not think at all, is having a great disservice to yourself.
    You can be free, you can be me, but your words to my soul never fails to satiate.















    Admin
    Admin

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    Re: Open words

    Post by Admin on Fri Nov 10, 2017 2:51 am

    If any friends or family come here, I just wanted to let you know I love you, you are my heart, and I look forward to many fucked up moments and wonderful adventures together.

    Admin
    Admin

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    Re: Open words

    Post by Admin on Fri Nov 10, 2017 2:40 am

    Fuck me, did I fall so far away. Finally back though. Just to look over the edge once more. Oh well. Nobody said life gave a fuck on whether you agree. I just try to live my life in the moment as much as I can, while I'm still here. Trying to find things to occupy my time, as I can only do so many things within this period of time. Not ungrateful, as they haven't lived my life, more different maybe, but not me on this one. More than anything, ready to get on with it. I can see all these things, feel them all, seeing silence as a result, and no movement, having only my mind to make sense of it all. They wonder why I am the way I am especially when I lost my sanity? To me, it makes perfect sense. Without any direct information, of course I'd expect a person to be emotional, senseless, angry, and completely confused. I'm just trying to put a voice to my words inside my head is all, I don't expect anything back, just to be understood is all. I can't say I pretend to know what everyone is going through, has been through, or any of that. I just expect someone maybe someone to understand I have been through a hell of a lot. Between the emotional bullshit, physical trauma, and being left behind, is why I can be direct on the other board. I do promise to be understanding, because I know what it's like not having someone there through everything. If you're in my heart, you're there forever. I leave you with this picture of my current mood and three songs I love and a mix, I listen to a lot.
    In essence, more ways to pass my free time with a voice to the words in my head.


















    Last edited by Admin on Fri Nov 10, 2017 3:19 am; edited 1 time in total

    Admin
    Admin

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    Re: Open words

    Post by Admin on Wed Nov 08, 2017 2:20 am

    That was written before we had talked, so ignore that. Quite a bit since then, but only a small portion remains up. So read on the board while you can, wipes happen alot unfortunately.

    minutes

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    Re: Open words

    Post by minutes on Tue Nov 07, 2017 11:38 pm

    Admin wrote:Hello minutes. I haven't seen you in a while. What garners such a request from the /x/philes of that board?  


    I am coming on my own, not from /x/. I just like to check in every once and a while to see whats new. Something compelled me to stop by again i guess.

    Admin
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    Re: Open words

    Post by Admin on Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:38 pm

    all discussion is welcome

    Admin
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    Re: Open words

    Post by Admin on Sat Nov 04, 2017 2:43 am

    Hello minutes. I haven't seen you in a while. What garners such a request from the /x/philes of that board?

    minutes

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    Re: Open words

    Post by minutes on Sat Nov 04, 2017 2:27 am

    greetings

    one

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    Re: Open words

    Post by one on Thu Oct 26, 2017 1:46 am

    neat Smile

    Admin
    Admin

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    Re: Open words

    Post by Admin on Thu Oct 26, 2017 1:27 am



    ANIMU posting welcome Smile

    Admin
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    Open words

    Post by Admin on Thu Oct 26, 2017 1:20 am

    so now that all this is finished, please feel free to talk. i created this for goofing off since the last forum is for business really. Have at it Wink
    flower

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    Re: Open words

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